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How Did We Get This Far Apart? Disengagement, Relational Dialectics, and Narrative Control

University of South Florida, Tampa

In this layered account, the author explores the disintegration of the relationship with his fiancé. Through the concept of relational dialectics, the author explores the multiplicity of tensions in the relationship and the patterns of communication and interaction through which they are displayed. These tensions include the dialectics of closeness—separateness, certainty— uncertainty, and openness—closedness. Similarly, the relationship is viewed through the concept of the chaos narrative and stands as a noncanonical exemplar for romantic relationships. Finally, as authors of our own life stories, the author questions the moral responsibilities we have toward each other, both in the living of our life stories and in the telling of them. The events in this narrative corresponded with the hurricane season of 2004, which serves as a backdrop to the story.

Key Words: ethics • hurricanes • narratives • relational dialectics • romantic relationships

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